Are you tired of your children not getting along? They are going to squabble. It’s human nature. As a form of self-preservation, human beings are very selfish in nature. Squabbling teaches children how to deal with others and has the potential to teach them self-denial.
When children fight, we need to determine why they aren’t getting along.
* Is one child enticing the other? If so, find out why and combat it with a charitable act towards the injured child.
* You can also have them do something together. I mean, they obviously need practice getting along, right?!? Give them a chore that must be completed together.
* What if they fight while doing the chore? Well, they still just need more practice. Give them a second chore.
* Is someone bored and just needs more structure/chores/school? I’m sure you can help with that. 😉
I remind my child(ren) that it’s no skin off my back. I can keep handing out chores as there’s always a ton to do!
Also, very important tip here. Don’t let them see you upset. They need to see that disciplining doesn’t bother you.
The punishment is a direct result of their squabbling, not you just being upset, etc. This is their fault and only they can fix it!
Raise your children around each other as much as you’re able.
So, this may seem like an obvious situation. Siblings are usually going to be around each other. However, what I mean by this is you want to deliberately put your children in situations that bring them together.
For example, if you are able to, homeschool your children. This not only brings them together on a daily basis but also teaches them how to handle multiple age groups. In my case, I have 11 of my 14 children at home, consisting of a one-year-old clear up to a 21-year-old in the house.
I also use the Partner System. This pairs a younger child up with an older child thus teaching the older child responsibility and the younger one to respect their older siblings.
Most of our chores are done in groups as well. They are all responsible for keeping their rooms clean (they share bedrooms), and have kitchen chores in groups of three; an older child with a middle and a little kid.
And, truly, age just doesn’t matter much when all the children grow up together.
Most importantly, give your children a good example to follow.
We must always be fighting to combat our own personal vices.
When teaching our children the importance of getting along with others, take a look at how your marriage looks. In their eyes especially.
Your children need to see you solving your problems constructively. After all, we can’t be asking them to get along with their siblings if we aren’t even trying to get along with the most important person in our lives, excluding Christ of course. 😉
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